It's lickalicious ;)

Having a child with special needs brings with it many moments that require instant 'think on your feet mode'. Yes, I know that this is the case with most children anyway, but trust me... a child with special needs throws in just a few more volts of WTH???

As Malakai has grown older, the differences between him and his peers have become a little more pronounced. While he can rock his numbers, colours, shapes, animals and nursery rhymes with the other 4-5 year olds, his social skill set is somewhat different (read: strange).

A really good example of this is his 'goodbye ritual' - a really good lick, right up the side of the face, followed by a downright glowing smile. I've tried to explain to Malakai that there are many ways to say goodbye, and licking is not at the top of the list, but to no avail. I've tried saying no, ignoring, reprimanding, and modeling appropriate farewell behaviours with our entire collection of fluffy toys, all lined up, but no, nothing has yet convinced him otherwise.

So now I simply brace myself to have my hastily applied foundation removed by an exceedingly well-delivered lick when I drop him at creche. It's ok, I tell myself, it's just a phase...

However, when I fetched Malakai recently and he came running over, hand-in-hand with one of his few friends, I was overcome with emotion. How sweet that my son has a friend, and sweeter still that this other little boy has taken the time to bond with a child who struggles to communicate, does inappropriate things at times and still wears nappies.

As they came running towards me, hand-in-hand, happy music played in my ears while my eyes burned a little with threatened tears. Aaaahhhh, my son has a friend despite all the things that make him different. Everything is well with my world... and then... LICK.

Oh the look on the poor boy's face as he came in for a hug and instead got a face full of saliva... Well, it was more than a little shocked, with some insecurity and perhaps even a twitching eye thrown in for good measure.

Think on your feet Loren, think woman! What on earth do I say to this little boy without making my child feel socially inadequate?

I wish I could tell you that I said something really witty, that made the whole thing totally acceptable... but I didn't. I simply whispered an apology to the little boy, took Malakai by the hand and got the hell out of there. Of course I tried to explain to Malakai that licking his friend goodbye was not something that his friend enjoyed, but he's still a licker.

I realised that day that while Malakai throws me seemingly insurmountable curve balls that knock every rational response out of my head, but he's actually just fine. In Malakai's world licking is the in-thing, muchos-coolos, totally ok... I am the one with the social issues that turn me bright red with shock and horror, not him.


BY Loren Stow